This brings to mind two Peep Shows quotes (both from Mark! Both from the same episode!):

“I’m intrigued to see what I’m gonna do next”

and also

“Hey! Wow, I’m actually good at this. Maybe I’m a natural - yeah, I’m a jogger! Of course, there had to be a sport for me, I just never realised. Legs like two great steam locomotives, pumping away, I’m unstoppable - JESUS, is that a stitch? Fuck, I’m gonna be sick, I need to walk. Oh, I think I’m gonna puke, I’m literally going to die, ugh, what an idiotic boob I was back ten or eleven seconds ago.”

I’m probably going to cry during games. Maybe no one will notice my lack of athletic ability if I’m crying.