April 2012
this is the drawback to spending the day at the cemetery
Me: “Um, can you suddenly smell that [unlit] candle on the windowsill?”
Katie: “YES. Why did it suddenly start smelling so strong?”
Me: “We’re probably being haunted by someone whose grave we walked over today.”
Other cemetery adventure: we encountered a raccoon that was just wandering around by some crypts and I convinced Katie that he was probably rapid (it was DAYTIME! I mean, come on!). But maybe he was just being a weird city raccoon that ignores his nocturnal instincts.
a request
Someone needs to invents something (an app, a journal, whatever) where I can track a bunch of elements to see if there’s a connection between them. For example, today would be like:
General mood: great - good - average - bad
Activity level: great - good - average - bad
Healthfulness of food: great - good - average - bad
Quality of internet interactions: great - good - average - bad
Friendliness of coworkers: great - good - average - bad
Public Transit quality: great - good - average - bad
Bedroom cleanliness: great - good - average - bad
Does this exist? Am I just missing it?
“As a society, we encourage girls and women to be emotionally accessible, and in touch with their feelings; we say that it’s an innately feminine trait. We say it, that is, until they have feelings that make us uncomfortable, at which point we recast them as melodramatic harpies, shrieking banshees, and basket cases.”
—Sady Doyle (via enchanted-wild)
a sad thing
Even with all my thinking happy thoughts and self care yesterday, it still wasn’t a great day. I was already at a high level of stress and running on minimal sleep and no food when someone from HR called me into a meeting room.
I didn’t get that job I’d applied for. The person they hired has much more experience than I do, and is looking to work in that area long-term and etc etc. It still stung. Worse, I already knew it was coming because my department processes new hire forms, and I’d seen that the position had been filled. There was just something so disheartening about sitting in a conference room, having someone say to my face why I wasn’t suitable for the job that just crushed me.
I thanked her, and then went back to my desk and (quietly) cried at my desk for ten minutes. I am such a sensitive creature, and I really take rejection like this to heart. So I gave myself ten minutes of feeling sorry for myself, and then went back to work and was fine for the rest of the day. And then I went home and made fettuccini alfredo with spinach, fake chicken and garlic bread for myself because crying burns a lot of calories.
Anyway. I feel much better today. I’m still happy with my current job, and I really only applied for this other one because so many people had encouraged me to. I might ignore such encouragements in the future, because I really don’t think it was worth this much stress, but we’ll see.
reasons to keep going
I am having a stressful week at work, and my usual plan of taking deep breaths and drinking water is only helping a bit, so I’ve been making lists of the best things in life to cheer myself up:
- chocolate covered raisins (the only form of raisins I will eat, really)
- when restaurants give you a bottle of water for the table
- watching tv cuddled up under a blanket with a cute boy
- waking up early and not hungover on a Saturday
- alfredo sauce
- trench coats (I own like three?)
- how soft baby beavers tails are
- cats that can play fetch
- playing hide and go seek as an adult (have you tried it? It’s kind of amazing.)
- scalp massages/people playing with your hair
- reading a whole book in one day (this was me with Catching Fire yesterday)
- tulips
